Social anxiety, how to overcome this?

First of all, therapist don't do nothing but say their opinions and get paid for it.





I have social anxiety, whenever going out, I feel so nervous, I hate going out socializing with others.





When I'm at home, I feel so relaxed, comfortable and would love to just work at home instead of working with other people.





whenever leaving my home and going to school, I feel stomach ache ... Every time, I just feel like I should just stay instead of going to school.





When my friends are going to party or wedding, I just make up excuses of doing homework Or being sick.





I'm afraid of people laughing at me, making fun of me Or just calling me crazy/retard.





I would love to have a job where I'm just relaxing at home, watching movies, eating and not dealing with people.





How to overcome this social anxiety since I can't live my life hiding from people? people hurt me most of the times and that's why I have social anxiety

Social anxiety, how to overcome this?
I can tell you that with or without medication, you CAN overcome it. I remember what it was like to feel that way...you feel shy, clam up, feel like everyone is staring at you, thinking of you, judging you...you don't want to go out and everyone feels superior to you. It's an awful feeling. But even though it's hard to imagine, try to understand that people are not nearly paying as much attention to you as you think they are...to some degree, they ALL feel the same thing you are. Everyone is too busy feeling anxious about what YOU think of them than to be thinking of you. Does that make sense? I don't mean this in a disrespectful way, but as a way to help you.....you are not that important for people to be staring at you, thinking of you and judging you. If you think about that, maybe you'll feel less self concious. As hard as it is to imagine, every time you are around someone, just think that THEY are nervous being around YOU instead of the other way around. And in a way, it's true! Believe me, it's almost funny when you think about it and if you do it enough times, you'll start to get over your anxiety around others. Just imagine yourself as a giant and others as much smaller than you are and really scared of you. Just think it until you believe it. Do this every single day with everyone you come in contact with. And remember that the people who try to act tough or bossy or whatever (including the kids who taunted you in junior high) only do that because they are the ones who lack self esteem and they have to act like bullies to protect their own very fragile egos. The more someone tries to act superior, the more you know they feel inferior on the inside...if you believe that, then you won't feel intimidated by them and you'll know that they are ten times more afraid of you than you are of them..they have just found a way to act their way out of it. And you can be a nice person who doesn't put others down or judges others, but still knows that most people lack self confidence are feeling paranoid around YOU and would probably laugh if they thought you were scared of them. I hope this makes some sense to you and you can start to at least think about your problem from this angle...even if it's just for a moment, so that you can conceive that there's another side to how you feel and it's not impossible for you to someday feel differently around people. You are a person just like everyone else and there is NOTHING that anyone has that you don't and there is no reason that anyone should intimidate you. Of course it's normal to have some anxiety somtimes, espeically around authority figures, but nobody is worth it for you to isolate yourself or feel scared around, etc. Just think about what I've said and try to practice this kind of thinking everyday until you start feeling more comfortable around others. Even if you have to literally say to yourself, "This person is terrified of me" whenever you're around someone you feel anxious around. Just say that in your head and truly believe it. You'll immediately feel a sense of power. Do this enough times and with enough people and you just might start to lose your anxiety around others. Good luck.
Reply:I had this and to some degree I still do. Years ago I was put on something and it did help me relax in social gatherings--(mainly work and a wedding). I eventually went off the meds. I don't go to many gatherings just from what you explained above-- all the uncomfortable feelings. And I also make excuses. But you know there are times when I do feel good and push myself to go to whatever it is. Most of the time, I leave saying "that wasn't so bad" I can conquer this. Easter is coming and my stomach is getting some weird vibes about it. All I can do is keep working on it. I also try to focus on healthy eating and exercising- that helps me stay positive knowing that I'm really good at something.
Reply:Hang in there, I had social anxiety when I was in high school also. It's not easy. I went to counseling but didn't get too much out of it.





Turns out, I had other things going on, and meds helped. Have you talked to your family doctor about it? Sometimes they can help more than a counselor.
Reply:I have the same problem. And everytime... i hear the one answer i hate. Cognital Behavorial therapy. Basically just force yourself to do it. The more you do it the easier it gets.





I have to say I personally have had little success with this. However, If you practice staying calm, practice relaxation techniques.. you do get better at those. Which in turn make it a little easier to deal with the anxiety and the social situations.
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