Am I anti-social or is this just apart of my social anxiety?

I'm very shy, don't talk to people first unless I'm talked to, etc. A part of my wants to have more friends and do stuff with them. But another part of me wants to stay far away from any social interactions like going to the mall, the movies, and other places.


And when they do invite me, I always find an excuse not to go.





Is this an anti-social problem or is what I'm doing just my social anxiety working?





Whatever it is, I hate it.

Am I anti-social or is this just apart of my social anxiety?
Anti-social is when you have no need, desire, or want to be around people - virtually any people. That doesn't sound like you. Anxiety is probably more like it, and that something to work on while you are young. Mindfulness, meditation, breathing exercises, and pushing your comfort zone just a little are things to consider practicing.
Reply:I think you're a bit hard on yourself :) Probably it's not easy for you to come up to somebody and start a conversation even if you feel like doing so, just because you feel not so much comfortable about how you might look. Or what others might think. Just drop it out, that's it!:D


There's only one solution to this - you've got to enjoy yourself, be happy with your outlook and feel that you are a very nice person. You are unique all by yourself!:) And you should do what YOU want.


Just try to open up a bit. You don't risk anything. What actually matters is not what others might think of you - damn, after all, it's only their humble opinion! - it's what you think of yourself, isn't it?


Most of us are just too much critical towards one's own personality.:) Let it go, you are great the way you are!
Reply:maybe your just normal! many people who dont wanna get swept up in the drama end up being the most normal. you are not anti social. your just who you are. and your friends should respect that.
Reply:part of both i think, but it's normal.
Reply:Obey the wee small voice inside you. There are bad people and nice people. You will feel them for now. Just wait for someone you feel good about is all.
Reply:It sounds like social anxiety Iam only saying that because it sounds like me alot and I have that
Reply:I think that should gain more confidence and maybe it will from starting to go to the malls with people.





Hope I helped!!
Reply:I'm exactly like this... and I thought I was the only one.


But frankly, I don't know what to tell you :S


I would personally think it's more of a social anxiety issue whereas anti-social people would rather -never- or very rarely talk to others. We still do, we just find excuses to not do things with friends.
Reply:I can b a loud person but I kno th@ @ times I wanna pull back too....I sumtimes wish I didnt hav to speek in order to function in life but th@s EXTREME!!! I say, th@ nobodys gonna do anything to u if u b urself..and if ur qwiet...than th@s wat u r...but dont blo oppurtunities off!!
Reply:Well...if you really felt comfortable around your friends, you'd love going out with them unless you really had a problem. Ask yourself if there's a person or people that you enjoy going out with. If there is, then I think you might just be socialising with people that put you in awkward and stressing situations. Try hanging out with other groups of people till you find the right ones. Don't force it though...act naturally, gain confidence and the rest will come along.





Also, don't get paranoid about it. Not everyone is a social butterfly, some people prefer spending more time on their own and that's fine.
Reply:I used to be pretty shy and just got more confident (consciously) as I grew older. I love talking to people, even strangers but even to this day I have a problem talking to someone FIRST. It's like you need to know your accepted in a way so you aren't "rejected".





I'm working on this myself. Most people wont initiate convo until someone else does it then a lot of us will feel like we've got permission to talk.





That's how I see it. :)
Reply:anti-social is an abused term. It means acts of violence, etc. You are not anti-social, just shy.
Reply:it's anxiety, i used to have the same problem. but i had to do something other than take drugs. so i just decided to go out into our big scary world, a little each day, even though i was scared i managed and now i can't stand being at home.
Reply:You are not antisocial. A lot of people misuse the term antisocial. Antisocial behavior is behavior that involves violating the rights of others. So it may include things such as stealing, murder, theft, etc. Basically, individuals with antisocial personality disorder lack empathy for others-they are only concerned about their own personal gain.





Do you have some sort of social anxiety? I don't know for sure-it definitely sounds like you have those tendencies. It may be part of an anxiety disorder (such as social phobia) or a personality disorder or tendency toward a personality disorder (such as avoidant personality disorder). It may be both too! On the other hand, you may just be a shy person and not necessarily have a clinical disorder-I don't know, but if it is really bothering you than you could clear it up with a psychiatrist or psychologist or clinical social worker.
Reply:Antisocial is a commonly misused word. It's different than being shy and having social anxiety. Antisocial implies that you're a major weirdo who can't get along with people in a normal way. From what you just said, I would not call you antisocial.
Reply:You sound like you are having sever social anxiety. This is something that can be dealt with through medication and therapy. It is a horrible thing to have to live through, but you can overcome it. Some people are thought to be terribly shy,but it is just that you physically cannot interact. Being anti social is different. That is a dislike of people, and being involved in large groups..which can be, as well, treated. Do a good thing for your self, seek help. This can run your life,and being young and healthy and ready to face the world try to get a medical opinion. You CAN over come this.


I don't really care for all the social things, movies, parties....that kind of thing either. But, I have to deal with people all day long, and get on very well. I just don't want to go somewhere that I don't feel comfortable. Now, the mall and shopping..that isn't included. I am ALL about shopping.


Good luck to you dear,and do try to get some help for this, it will make things better !
Reply:Social anxiety is a fear of being around groups of people. If you have it, then you probably know it. I have certain friends I like to hang with and I pretty much avoid activities with any other people. Not that they aren't usually friendly. I just am not interested in interacting beyond a certain point. Sometimes I wish I were more outgoing but that's just the way I am.
Reply:you sound like me. i think you are just shy and you probably dont know what to say to people. social anxiety sucks. i wish i could get over it.
Reply:i dont know what it is but i feel your pain. i am the same, making excuses to not go to parties cause im always afraid of being the only person wit no one to talk to. and i rarely talk to new people unless im in an awesome mood which is rarely. i dont know what it is and i know it sucks to be that way.





but i must thank you for asking this question because for the longest time i thought i was just a wierdo but by asking this you have showed me im not just a wierdo and there are others that feel the same. i hope me saying that i am the same way helps you in some way to feel better like you asking has made me feel better about it. but it does suck and getting around it is a b*tch but i try to just be myself and say and do what i want at anytime regaurdless of who's around. its hard but it has worked in the past. maybe trying it will help you. you never know until you try it.
Reply:I say you're an introvert. Nothing wrong with ya. If it is bothering you though, it's a changeable factor, you CAN change it, just start saying yes to the invites.
Reply:Boy, did your parents do a number on you.

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