I Have A Social Problem?

Through out high school i hung out with these three other guys. Everything was fine and then like two days after we graduated, i never heard from them again. I was completely abandoned by best friends and still have no idea why. It has been a few years now and i can't get myself to find new friends. Besides dating and girlfriends, plus some casual acquaintances, i have had no friends for the past three years. Every time i get an opportunity to have a social life again, i do nothing. An example of what i am talking about. Last year i went away to a college where making friends wasn't easy (it was a commuter school so most of the students weren't around that often). After months of trying to make friends i finally did and then i just stopped talking to them. I just avoided them for the rest of the year.





Ever since the end of high school, no matter how much i want a social life, i avoid getting one. What should i do?

I Have A Social Problem?
Hey at least you're not a big scary looking black guy who scares women and make dudes uncomfortable cause they think you're gay. If you are a normal looking person, take advantage! When I'm out in public people act like I'm Frankenstein! At least you're able to get women to go out with you. And at least the WHOLE WORLD doesn't falsely accuse you of being gay because of your natural look. Bottom line - you don't have it as bad as some of us, I couldn't pay a person to be my loyal friend. So just cheer up, get out there, and enjoy life for those of us who can't cause everyone looks at us like we're freaks! trust me, it sucks when you intimidate everyone for no apparent reason. Don't take friendships and relationships for granted. Like Bruce Wayne might say, they are a luxury, and not all of us can enjoy such a luxury, so drink one for me! ;-]
Reply:Have you tried joining a club, fraternity, or sorority (not sure if you're a guy or girl)?





It's a great way of meeting new people.
Reply:Have a shower-this time with Soap, Shampoo %26amp; Conditioner, have a shave, become active in some sport or social group (e.g Soccer, Rugby or any type of team sport. Social groups, get involved with Rotary, Toastmasters, Apex or learn Acting).





Buy some New Clothes and become an outward person(e.g Go to the Horse Races, the Car Races, the Bike Races - both pushbike %26amp; motorbyke). Join an Camping Group, a Caving Group, an Abseiling Group.





Do something, just get yourself out and do something. Let other people get to know you-for Who You Are-and then let them make their own minds up.


If Your Worth Knowing.
Reply:"Ever since the end of high school, no matter how much i want a social life, i avoid getting one."





You know what you want and you know what you are doing wrong. Now you just need to make a calculated effort to make it happen.
Reply:am having this feeling that it is a case of you trying too hard.


any sudden change of environment will produce at least some minor stress...such as learning how to cope with new people.


first off,you need to be rooted.you need to be happy with yourself.get an identity that does not need to be defined by your former friends.that way,you woill not have to compare anyone with anyone else.


treat every individual as a unique being without expecting them to be like another person.


learn to accept people as theyt are.


quit trying and let things take their course.
Reply:Obviously you can make friends, that is not the problem. But you now have a fear, from your past experience, that is haunting you. You are afraid to sustain relationships for fear that they will be like you previous best friends and abandon you! I dont blame you, that is a detrimental situation. It sounds like you have yet to recover from it. You must overcome this fear. Realistically, the chances of that reoccurring are slim. But nonetheless it is a real fear and you must overcome it in order for you to maintain relationships. One thing you can do is to attempt to contact your former friends. See how they are doing and if they will respond to a long lost friend. And maybe you can casually bring up what happened for the abrupt ending. Maybe it is not as bad as you think. This is not unusual either, after high school people go their separate ways. If you are unable to reach them, but try very hard because it is best to deal with the fear directly, then you must work on keeping relationships. You have to make it a top priority to call your friends on a continual basis. And hopefully after time you will realize that they wont abandon you but do the opposite. Sorry this was so long!
Reply:once it took me 10 years to find what i consider good friends and which they would be if i hadn't had to leave the state all over again but i had to choose between those that were better off than me and didn't understand me and those that were slovenly and beneath me and pick the ones in between those 2 types ( more on my level) but no matter what if i could go back before relationships and friendships i would choose family, becuase i have missed that chance and all my other efforts are for naught and i found love way at the end of it all.
Reply:I dont know your whole situation but I can tell you that I have less and less friends as I get older. Mainly cause of time and family. I am not sure if ur situation but I think the social scene tends to calm down as u grow older.