Help With Social Anxiety?

I'm a social anxiety sufferer, for instance: I avoid social gatherings when I can, I'm even afraid to leave the house sometimes, when I catch the bus I hope I don't run into anyone I know, I quit my first job because I couldn't handle being around people or engaging in a conversation (almost drove me insane), I'm having trouble finding a job now because I'm afraid the same thing will happen, I have friends but don't function so well in a one-on-one situation and this has also made it hard for me to find a girlfriend even though I've had several opportunities.





I can talk confidently on MSN, mainly the only reason people grew to like me because I can be an interesting funny person on it, but I am unable to pull this off in real life.





Social anxiety has also made my grades suffer and I didn't get the result I wanted when I finished school (which was socially excruciating one-third of the time, making it debilitating for me to go to university).

Help With Social Anxiety?
Get more information about some ways to overcome your fear, anxiety and phobia at my profile.
Reply:See social anxiety/shyness, and self confidence, in sections 9, and 38, at http://www.ezy-build.net.nz/~shaneris Here is an exercise that can help you. It is called "Act as If." When you are in a social situation, act as if you are outgoing. Talk more, smile at everyone, ask questions, speak in a normal or excited tone, not a meek tone. Watch some of your outgoing peers, and imitate the style of their social behavior.





Research shows that when you "act as if" continually, your image of yourself begins to conform to your new behavior. In this case, you will gain self-esteem and self-confidence, and begin to see yourself as socially normal, not shy. You will become more socially successful, and this will motivate you to continue your new social behavior until it becomes a habit.





Try this for a month, in every situation you can. I am confident that you will become much more comfortable and outgoing. One form of therapy is to go somewhere that nobody knows you, and deliberately make an utter fool of yourself: put on a paper hat, and scream out: "I'm queen/king of America!", or something else ridiculous, then get back in the taxi, (warn the driver of your intentions, first) or car, and leave. People will point, and say: "Look at that idiot". But, you're probably not up to the stage where you can do that, yet (I can, and I used to be shy). Regard it as your final test: once you have accomplished it, the barrier will be broken; just don't go too far, the other way! Learn to laugh at yourself, and give a big, cheesy grin when others see you do something foolish, as we all do, occasionally. It is endearing, if you don't do it too often. Use positive affirmations: for example: "I am very likable and other people feel comfortable around me".


Write down all of your self limiting beliefs; then write down the positive counter of them, (exact opposite) and repeat them and imprint them into your mind.


Most importantly: Force yourself to approach somebody and initiate some sort of communication. Start out small by asking the time and directions and gradually go bigger.
Reply:Get yourself to a counsellor before this takes over your life!
Reply:First off, i'm not a psychologist so i'm just giving advice/opinion based on my own experience or knowledge :)





About your condition- don't worry, I assure you that others too have the similar problems, and there are people who's even more withdrawn then you.





My suggestion is that, try to find the root of your problem- why aren't you able to engage people in conversations or small talk, or jsut simple interactions? IMO, it's mostly because of lack of confidence and insecurity. So then again, what's causing the insecurity when facing others? Is it your looks? Figure out the real problem and try to address it.





And, since you have good friends, why not ask them to help you out a little? Since you're only 18, why not get a job with a good friend so that he can be by your side to help out in any difficult social situations, it'll always make you feel better. However, this might lead to fostering dependance too. So i'd recommend getting a service job- perhaps sales, or customer service where you'd be force to engage with others. Tough yes, but i'm sure you would want to snap out this condition asap.





And try not to avoid social gatherings. I know, every cell in your body may be screaming not to attend these gatherings, but just try a few, with your mates. The gathering may not be that bad after all. Don't be pessimistic, if you don't try, you'll never know. don't have regrets in life, even if the gathering got screwed up in the end, you'll know that you attempted.





And lastly, just remember that others are humans just like you. Each have their own insecurities too, everyone has felt awkward before, and everyone has felt left out before. So next time when you face another stranger, try not to give off a 'I don't want to talk to you' vibe. You can try to start off small talk, (always with a smile) and when meeting strangers, try to talk about them more than yourself, because that's basic courtesy.





I'm sure if you're an interesting person online, you can be too on real life. Don't depend on the media as a medium to get your personality across. I believe that you can do it face to face. So all the best ^^